What I want today

Today I'm swimming with the current...something different for me. It seems like I try to plan my path each day and am usually met head on with interruptions, tangents & chaos. Today, I'm doing what I can. I've read,"...not to resist things because the resistance is attractive to the opposition." But I also find that when I'm letting my guard down that is when my life is full annoying, painful, tiring opposition. Weird, huh!

I was suppose to partake in this wonderful Mother/Daughter weekend get away that turned into, everyone bring a friend. Well with only 3 days notice that things were changing...who was I to ask? No one. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone. I don't remember the last time I drove more than 15 minutes alone or spent the night by myself. So as I felt the fear and moved through it, I got excited. Real true me time, a motel room all to myself!!!

Oh cont rare! How my excitement was smashed as my sister's friend backs out on her & I have to share a room with her. Bummer. See I let my guard down and what did I get in return? Delayed information that was hurtful. And needless to say I put up my walls and didn't want anyone treading on them! And now in my space...a zombie. She forgot her meds & I got to room with a DT'ing regressing girl that had her defense even higher than mine. NOT COMFORTABLE or my idea of me time!

But as I went through the weekend, I did things that I wanted to do and nothing less or more. I ate where I wanted, shopped where I pleased and I let the uncomfortable energy roll off my shoulders, unlike how I usually absorb it.

And not today, today I will throw caution to the wind and do as I please. No bummers to follow or deal with. Just a day of what I want!