So some might read the title and think, "Well do something about it!" And that's what I've been trying to do for the last year and a half. I want to share my story with you...
See I haven't always been fat or obese or even morbidly obese a majoriety of my life. Just the last 7 years. Of course I did the freshman 15 which was actually 25 extra pounds. I was horrified after I dropped out and moved back home. I got 10 of the pounds off in between my at the time hobby of partying like a Rock Star! Was pretty happy to see the weight come off and I wasn't even into my 20's yet. Then I fell in love, got pregnant, had a baby, my life that I knew had been flipped upside down. It was in a way that I never could of imagined. My self absorbed-self disappeared.
All the while I'm trying to live up to the responsibilty that I had taken on by choosing to bring this amazing child into the world. I was loosing myself. See I LOVED my baby and my boyfriend(now my husband). I wanted to provide the most nuturing enviroment I could...but I was forgetting to take care of myself during this time of glorious joy. And I truly mean that. I love being a mommy to this day. And I love being a wife also. But after several years of not taking care of myself, I've forgotten what it takes. Don't shop much for myself...hand me downs only please! Make up only when public appearences or company is on it's way. Even now I try to make sure the kids get the fresh fruit instead of taking my share.
I've been working hard to reverse this haywire programming I've grown into. I read a shit ton of self help/improvement books. Research what's actually healthy to eat and the level of activity to maintain. I've got a gym membership, met with a dietician, journal my days food & activity...and the list goes on and on.
But my biggest struggle is to get myself put back in that number one spot. Slowly my changes are sinking in...just not as fast as society would accept though. And I can't make the public the first enemy cause it's actually me. All me. My own war...cause the battle I've already won.
I've realized I'm not healthy. I know it's not fair to me or my family. And there is so much to live for and accomplish in this life. I'm not for sure the exact direction I'm headed in but I'm on my way. And that's what counts.
